I connected with the amazing Summer Land last year, after stumbling across her amazing book, Summerlandish. I couldn’t stop laughing at her hilarious blog posts, loved all her pictures for her book and just had to meet this girl, who seemed like a blonde American version of myself, and make her my bestie. Thankfully, I didn’t have to try very hard, because she exactly the same as me and enjoys going on blind dates with her husband Paul, mother Donna and new baby Daisy to meet me for lunch. Summer’s first novel, Summerlandish is possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read – I can’t encourage you enough to go out there and read about her life and suspect you’ll want to be her bestie too. She’s the girlfriend you never knew you had, she’ll make you laugh in the first few pages and why I love her, is she worked amazingly hard to write and publish such an incredible book while moving to a new country, getting married and becoming ‘with child’. I’m also all about her taste in music – Britney Spears IS the queen. Enjoy Summer’s advice in overcoming a First World Beauty Problem that we’ve all thought about, home waxing.
Home Waxing Fail
Edited excerpt from Summerlandish: Do As I Say, Not As I Did
By Summer Land
One sweltering Australian summer, I noticed that my exposed and severely overgrown bikini line was scarring little children when I was lying by the town pool. Horrified by their reactions (fear, disgust and disbelief,) I decided that I needed to take action IMMEDIATELY. I gathered my things and made a much needed pit stop at a Big W on my way home to pick up some wax strips.
I should have known better. My friend, Megan, once sealed her butt cheeks together with wax when she was trying to do a little at-home hair removal. We ended up having to use canola oil to get them apart. That would have been fine, except her dad came looking for the canola a few days later and was a bit disturbed when we told him it was in her bathroom … (covered in waxing strips and pubes). Another time, my mom, Donna, called me in a tizzy because she too had glued her vagina lips together with wax. After avoiding losing a lip and getting them apart, I swore up and down that I would NEVER try to wax at home.
But this was an emergency! The moment I got home and got started, I called Mama Donna and told her that I was waxing my bikini line as we spoke. Well, I was halfway there. I had the strip on, but couldn’t work up the nerve to pull it off. Trying to stay positive, I figured that the amount I was sweating would help remove it easily.
Unfortunately, I just couldn’t work up any courage to finish my task. Donna was cheering me on, but I ended up calling for my husband, Paul, to come and help me get it off. (I was sitting in the living room, of course.) He called me a baby and told me to just rip it off. I SERIOUSLY couldn’t. My arms had become lethargic. All of the sudden, Paul held me down which caused me to burst into tears. My mom was howling with laughter as he told me to hold still. With one solid movement, Paul ripped the wax strip, along with all of the blood vessels, off of my delicate inner-thigh area. It was absolutely horrific. Never will I EVER do that to myself ever again. The kids at the pool can just deal with the Austin Powers amount of pubes I’m capable of growing. Okay fine, I’ll go to a professional.